How I’m Learning to Live in the In-Between

I waited in the pre-dawn darkness, as my doggie was doing his business out on the grass. I looked at the house across the street and noticed a bright dome of moonlight glowing just above the roofline. I wanted to stand on my tip-toes to see the bright moon.

Oh! If I wait here a few more minutes, I’ll see the moon in all its brightness rise up over the house! 

Wait. The moon is setting. The sun is rising. I would have to wait almost 24 hours to see it over the rooftop. 

For a moment, I was disoriented, not knowing if the moon was rising and the sun was setting or if the sun was rising and the moon was setting. This in-between… was it dawn or dusk? A beginning or an ending?

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Sometimes my life feels like that. Like I’m in between beginnings and endings – or is it endings and beginnings? Every day, the cycles repeat. Sunrise. Moonset. Sunset. Moonrise.  In my life, there are cycles too, some repeating, some just ending.

I’m learning to live in this in-between-ness, embracing each day and season for what it brings rather than standing on my tip-toes trying to see what is coming next. Like the sun rising, some seasons are glorious and beautiful and full of light. Like the moon rising, some seasons feel dark and sleepy and all hunkered down.

Sometimes I’m happy and sad, all at the same time, because one part of life is living in the glorious daylight and another is hunkered down for the dark of night. Anxiety lives in me right alongside peace and rest. Doubt and faith co-exist in my mind. Hope and fear both reside in my heart. The in-between is the space where God wants me to sit down, be still and quiet and wait.

That doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m more of the arms-crossed-tap-my-foot-until-the-next-thing-arrives kind of person. I’m impatient by nature, so sitting down, waiting for the sun to rise or the moon to set doesn’t exactly suit me. But regardless, that is exactly what I know the Holy Spirit is asking of me.

Stop seeing this season as a waypoint and see it as a destination.
Plant seeds. Let them take root.
Just come out. Don’t try to control the outcomes.
Sit down on the inside and enjoy what is here now.

I’m learning that as long as I’m tapping my foot, crossing my arms and craning my neck to see what is next, I have no space in my soul to appreciate and value what is now. The in-between spaces, like dawn and dusk, have a beauty all their own and I will miss the beauty if I’m just looking for the next greatest thing.

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Jesus was never in a hurry for the next greatest thing. He went along his way, and offered up each moment on its own.

He made wine out of water so a host could entertain his guests.
He healed the sick, even when it wasn’t legal to do it on the Sabbath.
He fed 5000 people because they were hungry. 

He didn’t plan these things, he just did them. And he didn’t do them with an if-you-think-that-was-great attitude. He just slipped in, met the need and went on with his day. I’m learning to live more like that. Jesus said:

“Do not be anxious for tomorrow, because tomorrow will be anxious for itself.” Matthew 6:34

What are you in-between today? Where is God asking you to sit down, rest a minute and let tomorrow come in it’s own due time?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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