Updated on October 12, 2015
Updated on October 12, 2015
Relationships are messy. Can we just agree on that right now? What starts out as pure bliss often turns into realities we were never prepared for.
We fall in love, we get married, we expect life to be unending joy and happiness. Then reality hits. The things we once thought of as minor annoyances become huge irritations as we daily interact with our spouse. We experience financial pressures, loss of a job, illness, injury, parenthood.
Silently, and over time, we start collecting hurtful words that were said, things done and not done. We filter them through our own perceptions and stuff them deep inside us where they fester and grow like a cancer until one day when we decide that we’ve had enough and explode at the smallest infraction.
1 Corinthians 13 reads,
“Love keeps no record of wrongs.”
That’s a really hard thing to do isn’t it? We don’t intend to, but in our minds and hearts, we’re making a list of all those things our spouse has done to hurt us. I’m not talking about the big things like extra-marital affairs, or alcoholism and its effect on the family. I’m talking about the clothes left on the floor, the glass left on the counter, the errand you asked him to handle and he forgot. Or maybe it’s a poor decision that had an affect on you. Maybe it’s harsh words spoken after a stressful day at work.
Whatever they are, they are easily collected in this jar of injustice we hold close to our heart. When the jar gets full, it starts to overflow and things are said, actions are taken, battle lines are drawn.
What if instead, we regularly talked about the things we perceive as wrong or hurtful? What if we took the time to check in with our spouse, to be honest and vulnerable and tell him how we are feeling or how words or actions affected us? What if we allowed him to do the same, and took responsibility for how our words and actions affected him.
And then, (here’s the hard part) let it go. Love asks us to keep no record of wrongs, which means we actively choose to wipe the slate clean. Without asking for penance or groveling or payback of any sort, we choose to say it, then drop it. What would that look like in your life? I know in mine it often requires discipline to control my thoughts and emotions and allow God to pluck the weeds of bitterness from me. Pulling weeds is no fun, but necessary for the beauty to grow.
Are you collecting a jar of injustice? Make a decision today to empty it, wipe the slate clean and keep no record of wrongs. Because
Love Never Fails
This is the 14th post in my series Love Never Fails for the Write 31 Days blogging challenge. You can click here to go to my introduction page and find links to all the posts in the series. Also, if you’d like to receive these posts directly in your inbox, just enter your email address in the bar to the right. I promise to never share your information.