31 Grace-full Days: Day 22 – Baby Steps

Do you race through life like I do? Busily going from one thing to the next, grabbing coffee while answering emails, rushing to work, putting out fires, home to fix dinner, catch up with family, head to bed so you can get up and do it all again.

It’s exhausting.

Technology has made us instantly available to information, whether it’s for work or for pleasure, it’s all screaming at us to pay attention, every. single. minute.

It’s constant.

For the better part of the last 10 days, I have sat in hospital rooms and waiting rooms. Now, I sit on a chair in my parents home, phone in one hand, iPad in the other, fielding work calls and emails. A nurse visits and I pause. Medications need to be administered. I pause. Time for a walk around the culdesac, I pause. My dad begins to share his concerns. I pause, have a conversation with my dad. I watch him sleep in his chair, peaceful and calm. He coughs, I look up from my email and pause.

The emails can wait.

I realize in these moments, that all of the busy, hurry-up, make-it-happen in my day I take for granted. It’s natural to think that I can keep up the pace indefinitely. “Someday,” I think, “I’ll retire and slow down.” But will I?

I watch my dad, frustrated that baby steps are so challenging. He feels as though he will never be able to walk a block, much less a mile. He wonders when he’ll be able to bend over and pick up his shoe. He is concerned that he can’t do anything on his own right now. I know this is temporary. I know it’s going to get better. He was once as I am, busy with work that consumed his days. If I were in his shoes?

I would be impatient too.

And some small place in my soul wishes for baby steps, wishes for a slower pace. I dream of a day without a phone buzzing for my attention. Simple, basic needs. Nothing else. And I take a look and see that the slower pace of these past 10 days are really a gift. They have cleared the urgent to focus on the important.

Baby steps are a gift.

They slow us down. They remind us that we are not invincible, we are not immortal. We are human and we cannot do it all.

Breathe in slow and deep I tell him. Stop and rest when you’re walking if you need to. Take your time eating, standing, sitting. Baby steps.

I am really speaking to myself.

This post is installment #22 of a 31 day writing challenge.  You can read the rest of my posts here:

Day oneDay twoDay three, Day four, Day five, Day sixDay sevenDay eightDay nineDay tenDay 11Day 12Day 13Day 14Day 15Days 16/17Days 18/19, Day 20Day 21

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